Introduction
In our ever-evolving world, uncertainty has become a constant companion in our lives. How we choose to relate to this uncertainty can significantly impact our emotional well-being and the quality of our decisions. This article delves into the two fundamental stances we can take regarding uncertainty: opposing or accepting it. The former often leads to a mood of anxiety, while the latter opens the door to a mood of wonder. We will explore what anxiety is and how it relates to financial anxiety based on the research done on Financial Confidence by Sanlam, which was discussed in depth in the previous article. Additionally, we will discuss how clients can navigate anxiety by embracing a mood of wonder and provide practical steps to facilitate this transformation.
What is Anxiety? And how does it relate to Financial Anxiety?
Anxiety is a pervasive emotion that arises when we resist or oppose uncertainty. It is important to note that some level of fear and anxiety can be helpful in certain situations, like preparing for a job interview or dealing with immediate threats. However, when anxiety becomes a persistent background emotion, even when there is no immediate danger, it can significantly affect our overall well-being.
The mood of anxiety can manifest in various ways, including a strong desire for certainty in an uncertain future. This often involves a negative self-assessment of our ability to cope with potential threats. Anxiety can make us overly reliant on the opinions and judgments of others, causing us to give away our personal authority. In the context of managing finances, it could be assessments like ‘I am not good at managing money.’ and ‘I will always have debt.’ or blaming circumstances on external events like increase in fuel prices as some examples.
From a behavioural perspective, anxiety tends to lead to avoidance of threats, withdrawal, and self-protection. It can hinder strategic thinking, delegation, and long-term planning. This can evidently be deducted from the Financial Confidence research, where clients tend to focus on immediate and short-term financial decisions without considering their impact on long-term financial freedom.
Anxiety can also have a cascading effect, potentially leading to other negative moods like resignation and resentment. It drains our energy, makes life burdensome, and keeps us constantly seeking approval and reassurance. It narrows our view of possibilities and stifles our ambition. Examples of resignation are when clients give up on trying to manage their spending plan or negotiate alternative spending methods within their family. Examples of resentment could be when a couple start blaming each other for spending money, being annoyed when one of the partners buys a ticket item, or even getting angry with a family member if they lose their job. Rather than dealing with the issue, resentment can be a mood of non-acceptance of what has happened. Financial anxiety manifests in a particular part of a client’s life. Nonetheless, from the examples given above, financial anxiety can have just as negative impact on an individual, their family and finances.
How Can Clients Deal with Anxiety by Accepting a Mood of Wonder?
Moving beyond anxiety involves shifting to what philosopher Martin Heidegger referred to as a “counter mood.” This counter mood is wonder, and it arises when we choose to accept uncertainty rather than resist it.
Wonder emerges as a mood when we embrace uncertainty as a fundamental aspect of life. It fosters a sense of fascination and curiosity about the world and its complexities. Unlike anxiety, wonder is characterised by a lack of negative assessments, both in our thoughts and in our communication.
In a mood of wonder, we frame questions that begin with phrases such as ‘I wonder…’ to explore various aspects of life. This open and curious approach can lead to a broader perspective and creative thinking. It encourages us to continually observe and engage with the world with fascination and a thirst for understanding.
Here are some examples of ‘I wonder…’ questions:
- ‘I wonder how we will deal with the increase in interest rates…’
- ‘I wonder how I can handle the continual increase in my monthly groceries…’
- ‘I wonder how we can have a fantastic December holiday without taking up any debt…’
- ‘I wonder how I can help our extended family that is struggling financially, without putting our own financial plans at risk…’
- ‘I wonder how I can make living within my means more fun…’
Practical Steps to Move to a Mood of Wonder
1. Question Negative Assessments: Encourage clients to challenge their negative self-assessments and beliefs that fuel anxiety. Help them recognise that these assessments are not absolute truths but conditioned responses.
2. Spending strategy: Help clients see their spending as a strategy game and let them explore what alternative options they have to address their psychological needs for spending that does not necessarily require money or possibly requires less capital. For example, instead of taking friends out for dinner to satisfy a psychological need for belonging or fun, invite them for a hike and picnic.
3. Mindful Awareness: Teach clients mindfulness techniques to become more aware of their emotions and bodily sensations. Mindfulness can help manage over-excitement and maintain a state of wonder. Mindfulness can also help clients become aware of what their triggers for spending are, which in turn can aid them in better understanding their self-talk and spending behaviours.
4. Embrace Curiosity: Encourage clients to ask open-ended questions, beginning with “I wonder…” when discussing various aspects of their lives. This can shift their focus from anxiety-driven worries to exploring possibilities.
5. Physical Awareness: Guide clients in paying attention to their body posture and breathing. In a state of wonder, the body is relaxed and open. Encourage clients to practice breathing exercises and gentle movements to maintain this posture. Let clients journal which thoughts, situations and environments trigger a mood of anxiety and what other spaces enable them to relax and access a state of wonder.
6. Practice Gratitude: Encourage clients to express gratitude for the wonders in their lives regularly. Focusing on the positive aspects can shift their emotional state from anxiety to wonder.
Conclusion
In a world filled with uncertainty, our choice of mood can profoundly impact our well-being and decision-making. Anxiety is born from the resistance to uncertainty and can be a pervasive and limiting emotion. However, by accepting uncertainty and embracing a mood of wonder, clients can unlock a world of curiosity, creativity, and openness. As ontological coaches, we have the power to guide them on this transformative journey, helping them navigate the complexities of life with a sense of wonder and resilience. In the next part of this series, we will further explore the benefits of wonder and how it can lead to a more fulfilling life.
Source:
Sieler, A. (2007). Coaching to the Human Soul, Ontological Coaching and Deep Change Volume 2 (2007 ed.). Victoria: Newfield Australia. Page 264-298
