In previous conversations, we discussed that our client and we engage in discussions with our unique structure of interpretation, and the wonder of coaching is that we can meet the client where they are. From an ontological perspective, we also said that how we see the world is determined by the language we use, the mood we embody, and our bodies. In this article, we will explore language.
OUR LANGUAGE CREATE OUR REALITY
Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words. ― Roy T Bennett,
When we speak, we usually want to share or achieve something through the language we use. It could be telling people how things are, trying to encourage people to do tasks, committing ourselves to do certain actions, expressing feelings and attitudes, or bringing changes through our utterances. Language enables us to create narratives that become our realities of taking action or taking no action for ourselves or others.
In Searle’s book, Speech Acts, he states that effective communication requires essential building blocks. These building blocks involve that our words need to be authentic, honest, and spoken with integrity. Our words need to be sincere. The information needs to be appropriate in style, form, nature of communication, and relevant to the context.
We initiate six actions through language:
- Assertions establish and create a shared understanding of reality for a particular group or community as a basis for coordinating meaning and action.
- Assessments are shaped by our values, beliefs, judgements that we make, our preferences and prejudges. Assessments are a particular interpretation of a situation in preparation for action.
- Declarations are a commitment we make to create a new context for action.
- Requests are to ask somebody else to act.
- Offers are where we commit to act on behalf of somebody else.
- Promises are mutual commitments for future action.
In summary, we can say that language creates reality. If our current reality is no longer serving us, we need to create a new narrative.
In future articles, we will further explore how certain language patterns either serve our clients on their journey to prosperity or not.
In the following Ted Talk (14 Minutes), Lera Boroditsky shares some interesting thoughts on language. As you listen to this talk, I invite you to reflect on how our language and culture influence our thinking about life and wealth. How does this manifest in the language we use? How does this impact us to take action?
